Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Are you my father?

Today has been a real downer of a day. I am not sure if it is the weather or just “the blues”. I have suffered with mild cases of depression for years and usually they occur in the fall. But this time it is hitting in late January. I wonder if it is related to the upcoming anniversary of my father’s death in 1978 on February 14th. I was 18 and just starting what I thought would be a career in the US Air Force. I get a call that my father had died and so I jumped aboard a south bound flight from Washington State to the outlands of Texas named Lubbock.

When I arrived in Texas, I found out, contrary to the coroner’s report that my father had not just died from a heart attack but from a heart attack caused by the small gun shot wound to the back of his head. Yes, my friends, either my dad committed suicide or he was shot by my stepmother. Either way, he had enough clout to have the coroner not list the gun shot as the cause of death. He was 54 years old. He was an alcoholic and was suffering from the ravages of that lifestyle of drinking. I really cannot blame him, though.

He spent 6 months in a German POW camp during WWII and then became a top criminal defense attorney in Texas. Those two things would drive anyone to drink. I never really had a relationship with him because my mother and he divorced when I was 4 and I would see him on odd holidays and summers. I was much too young to remember much about him. Perhaps that is what is driving this funk.

I do remember sitting on the curb when I was about 6 or 7, waiting for his Lincoln Towncar to drive up the street. Being young, I did not understand the time that it took to drive from Lubbock to Waco, where my sister and I lived with our mom. All I remember is the wait and the disappointment when he did not show up as expected. When he did finally get there, he took us to the motel where he was staying and then to dinner and out to the “strip” in Lacy Lakeview, (Waco was a dry town), to get his liquid fortification. I had to stay in the car. It seemed that I was waiting a lot in those visits.

The last time I saw him alive was at the Hospital in Temple, where he was being treated for cancer among other issues. Nine months later he was dead. When I got back to my home in Washington, my friends seemed to notice that I had changed somehow. I didn’t see it but who does see how they react to things themselves? All I know is that I felt like I had lost a father for the second time and this time there would be no chance of getting to know him ever again.

My mother and I have not been on speaking terms for about five years now and while I know I should be working on resolving that issue, I cannot bring myself to see or talk to her. So I feel like an orphan or abandoned by my parents. My stepfather divorced my mother after 19 years of marriage and walked completely out of my life. I tried to communicate with him when my son was born but was rebuffed by his office staff. I know that he directed them to prevent us from talking because it happened on more than one occasion. I went to his office when I knew he was there and he refused to admit my family in.

I think I am an orphan and it sucks!

Saturday, January 13, 2007

BACK UP!


Those two words have double meaning for me. One: back up means that I am back up on my computer and two: I will be doing a weekly back up of major project data. I am so mad at myself. Oh well, a friend told that she spent $800.00 for data recovery. Not sure I want to spend that much.

I am still trying to reload things but I know that some things are lost forever. I will not be able to get my bookmarks back and pictures that I had taken of my family. Oh well, the hazards of living in the digital age.

I think that I was hit by some electrical spike or something because I lost two harddrives, a video card and a motherboard. The drives are not even recognized in another machine. I had to go get a new motherboard and I was upset to find that it only has one IDE slot. So I had to remove my CD-rw and slave out my DVD-r off my hard drive. I will be replacing the motherboard again in the not too distant future.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

OH NO!!!!!!!!


That was the first reaction that I expressed as I saw my hard drive crash and my mother board refuse to reboot. I was devastated as I realized that it had be over a year since i had done any back up!!! Oh Crap!! was the second reaction. More about this as I recover what I can!!

Saturday, January 06, 2007

Cowboys are out played by The Seahawks



It is official! The Cowboys lost a close game tonite. Actually, Romo did ok until the end when he misplaced a ball for a field goal. One bright spot is that Tony signed a endorsement deal.
Julius Jones lost the ball that set up the win because he lost the ball in the Cowboys' own endzone, giving Seattle a safety 2 points. They only needed one of those to win the game.

Will Parcells be back? Will T.O. be back? Will Romo recover? Will Dallas have a winning season and a Superbowl run while still in Texas Stadium? These are the questions that we will ponder for the next few months as things take shape in Arlington for the NEW STADIUM, which will cost over a billion dollars to complete.

A billion Dollars!!! Do you have any idea how much a billion dollars is? Here is a simple graphic:



The mound of cash is 20 feet tall, 50 feet long, and 31¼ feet wide. The single stack of dollar bills is now climbing to 300,000 feet, or 56.8 miles.



It is about half as long as a conventional tennis court.




This is the dollar amount for the damage caused by a natural disaster, according to insurance claims filed by victims in four states that were affected by a category 3 hurricane, (Dennis) in July, 2005.




This amount of money is what an ideal elementary school class size (400 students) can expect to earn in their lifetimes, combined.








I would love to have a percentage of that amount. I am a little surprised that there is not an outcry about the money that sports teams have to throw around. But I guess if you are able to afford to charge $100 a ticket and get it, you can spend the money anyway you want to.








More reason for a flat consumption tax!

Friday, January 05, 2007

Wasting Time Part 2

Since I was talking about wasting time with commenting on other blogs in the earlier post, I thought I would share another major waste of my time. I have found this great website that offers decent software for FREE!!! This site also offers free games. I have included the link on the side panel. Check it out. I get nothing for you visiting but you can get free stuff without entering anything. The only catch is that you must download and activate the software before the time runs out at 12midnight your timezone (I think). If you do not activate before the time runs out on that day's download, you will not be able to activate for free. That is the only rule, you can download to as many computers as you want to but you must have internet access to activate before the timed deadline.

Anyway I have downloaded some fairly fun games and heck they are free and spyware and adware and virus free as well. Check them out and see if you don't add them as a link that you must visit every day. I do!

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Wasting time

I just noticed that I have been wasting valuable time commenting on other people's blogs when I could be using those comments for fodder on my own blog. So I think I will start using the link system in my comments to bring people here to read my words of wisdom (big laugh here).

I just got through commenting about the tax structure on Substitute Teacher's blog. This one area that I feel strongly about and will elaborate more in a future posting.

Until then be sure to get your forms BEFORE April 15th as the Post Office will be sure to run out of the one form you need to get to beat the deadline.

Monday, January 01, 2007

Random thoughts


Here is a cool picture. For more information click Here.


Here are some Questions that I came across in my travels across the internet.


Whose idea was it to put an “S” in the word “lisp”?


What is the speed of darkness?

If the temperature is zero outside today and it’s going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

If it’s true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

Can you cry underwater?

How is it that we put a man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Did you ever stop and wonder……

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?”

Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken there… I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it’s bum.”

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your Obstetrician, Gynecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway ?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs !

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream ??

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? (This one kills me !!!!)

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,
then what is baby oil made from ?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons ?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Stop singing and read on . . . . . .. . . . .

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?